Why Boys and Girls Can’t be Best Friends

Let me set the scene.

It’s Saturday afternoon.  My boyfriend has gone to watch the football and is heading off to the pub afterwards with his mates.  I give my best friend a call and we head out for the afternoon.  We go to the cinema and stop in a bar for a few drinks afterwards.  We both catch up on some gossip, have a whinge about the minor imperfections of our partners, have a few more drinks and return to my house to settle down to a DVD box set.  Curled up on the sofa we can watch the DVD in comfortable silence, occasionally teasing each other or throwing a compliment each other’s way in a mutual ego stroking exercise.  The evening ends, a quick hug to say goodbye and my best friend potters off home.  Later on we text each other to say what a nice day we’ve had and arrange to finish watching the DVD box set one evening next week.

Now the scenario above is probably pretty typical for two girls.  But imagine if my best friend was a boy.  A heterosexual boy.  Doesn’t seem quite so normal now does it?

And therein lies my point.  Boys and girls cannot be best friends, unless one or both of them are gay.  Two girls going out for drinks and going back home together is a girly day out.  A girl and boy doing the same is, well, essentially a date.

Now I’m not saying that girls and boys can’t have friends of the opposite sex, but by laws of being human the relationship is entirely different.  I call my male friends my “mates” and I tend to only see them in group situations; not because I like them any less than my female friends, but because their interests and topics of conversation on a one-on-one basis tend not to be the things I’m interested in.  Men think differently to women, they generally like to chat less and while they can be great company on a night out in a group I think there are very solid reasons why men tend to have a group of male friends and girls tend to have a group of girl friends.  You just tend to have more in common with someone of the same sex.

I’m a modern woman and I don’t believe in the old social conventions of male roles and female roles within society, but I believe there are some very sound reasons girls and boys cannot be best friends. 

Perhaps it’s the media that has perpetrated this status quo.  How many films and TV programs are there where the girl and boy best friends suddenly realise that their feelings run deeper and they end up getting together at the end? 

Think about it.  Ross and Rachel get together at the end of Friends after years of being on and off and a series of will they or won’t they?  In between being together, breaking up and finally getting together again, Rachel goes out with Joey for a bit.  In the mean time Chandler and Monica get married.  Dawson’s Creek, another angsty teen program made their entire plot line about Joey, Pacey and Dawson and who would get together with who.  Okay, Dawson and Joey don’t eventually end up together but their relationship definitely went a little further than best friends on several occasions!  Other examples like My Best Friends Wedding, Made of Honour, Valentines Day and Human Traffic see the unrequited and (usually) eventually requited love between boy and girl best friends.

Fine, so all of those examples are fictional but from my experience of real life I’ve never known a boy/girl best friendship end in a healthy way.

On a more practical note, imagine if one of a boy/girl best friendship finds a partner.  What happens then?  It would only be natural for the new girlfriend of the boy to be a little threatened by the girl best friend and vice versa.  Hell, I get annoyed when my boyfriend spends too much time with his male friends at the pub.  Imagine how I’d feel if all this time out was with another woman?  Without wanting to sound like a bunny boiler I’d be pretty pissed off if my boyfriend was sacrificing his time with me to spend time with another woman.

What irks me most about the whole boy/girl best friend scenario is what it says about how they feel about each other.  If you really think about it, what’s being expressed is “Yes we have chemistry, I feel comfortable enough to share my inner most thoughts with you, but I don’t fancy you enough to have sex with you”.  Nice.

Every boy/girl best friendship I have ever known in real life has resulted in one expressing their love to the other and them either getting together or ruining the friendship forever.  Or if one of them finds a partner while they’re still best friends then the dysfunction train sets off at full speed with Ultimatum Town being the final destination.

In my opinion, no good can come from having a best friend of the opposite sex.  It will lead to heart ache, jealousy and unbearable awkwardness. 

And if you’re reading this and thinking “What does she know?  It’s totally different with me and my best friend.” I request you to think long and hard about why that person is your best friend.  Ultimately either one of, or both of you are kidding yourselves.

This entry was posted in People. Bookmark the permalink.

94 Responses to Why Boys and Girls Can’t be Best Friends

  1. Soph says:

    SOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO true, been saying this for years, I would love to meet someone who says otherwise, and then ask them their opinion again in 5 years time when they have been through, or caused, a spot of heartache!

    • Bram Deprez says:

      let’s talk in 5 years, because i am not gay and so is my “girl-best-friend”

    • madhu says:

      we gotta talk! ‘~’ I am just the opposite ….

    • sashank says:

      oh please!! i have best friend of opposite sex. and NONE of us are Gay. she had boyfriend, and i had gulfren, time and again. but then, our friendship lasted much longer than any of our relation, and it has already became 10 years of our friendship. P.s we constantly be each others wing man/women, to find partner for each other. so I WOULD SAY, this article is talking SHIT, and a boy and girl can be friends

    • Drake says:

      I have a girl-best friend and we have known each other for years but there was never the kind of problem nor the chemistry between us,you think what comes out of your mind is golden? well that’s your opinion,that’s what you think you know what i think?I think your full of crap.

  2. Aziz says:

    Not in my case. I have been great friends with some women – It only works because I not attracted to them. If I was, yes I would try to take it further after a few months.

    • Giovanna says:

      Well, you are right. in your case you dont have any feelings toward your friend. but chances are she might like you. It all depends on how far you take the friendship level between each other. You can be friends but I have never seen a girl or a boy as best friends sharing inner thoughts and secrets who knows each others likes dislikes and enjoys each others companionship last for many years as best friends. Think of it this way. How would you define a relationship with your wife when you get married. Not only just because attraction could factor but also jealousy from other people not necessarily close to you could factor in to break the relationship of being best friends between one guy and a girl.

      • Andrea says:

        My best friend is a guy, I hang out with him every day for dinner or a movie and we talk about EVERYTHING but nothing has happened and probably nothing will, He is 22 and I am 20.However, I don’t know what to think about that after reading this haha…(another friend showed me this she says girls and guys cannot be friends (??))

    • naveen says:

      yeah….according to ur point…..you have treated your friend in a way where u are not yet confirmed tat she’s you best friend or not…..just for the sake u want her in an other way(as a girlfriend)…you are using the word friendship…..

  3. Habiba Sanjak says:

    wow so true

  4. ankur says:

    dis izz soooo damnn truee…!!!!!!
    spcly da part…if one of dem finds a partner….da oder one has 2 make his way out..!!!
    my real lyf experience sayz…a boy n a grl..cnt nvr b best frnds….4 lyf !!!
    either de go in a relationship..or de end up evn dre frndshipp…!!

    • Abby says:

      This is not true my best friend is a guy and he’s dating he was actually dating b4 we became best friends so that’s NOT true.

  5. mysweetaudrina says:

    I am so open to every individual having their own opinions on any matter in existence, which is why I’d just like to express mine while I have this opportunity.I’m 20years old. I honestly don’t agree with you on this. I have always had many more friends of the opposite sex rather than I have of those of the same sex. I have 4 people in my life that I would call equally best friends. One is a female who is lesbian. One is a female who is straight. The other two are males; one of which has a girlfriend, and the other who is single and straight. One of them in particular that I have been friends with for almost 7 years, is the one person I have shared more with than I have ever shared with anyone. We really would be the two best friends in that scenario above. We would go shopping and get a drink, talk about our partners at the time, get games or movies, and come home to watch them. We would continue sitting up into the early hours of the morning talking about anything. I also want to mention that of those 2 male friends, the one in the relationship has been with his girlfriend for over 3 years. I have been with my boyfriend for over 6 months. Our best friend-ship doesn’t cause any problems with our relationships, but that’s all it is and all it will ever be. I don’t think it’s impossible for boys and girls to be best friends, yet it does depend on the people. I know that I personally feel that we are all the same type of being, we just happen to manifest physically in different styles.
    So ask me again in 5 years time if you like? It’s more simply than people make it out to be :)

    • KingK says:

      6 months is nothing, give it a year or so,

      besides it depends on the strength of the ‘friendship’ as well, the closer you are the greater the possibility its not JUST friendship, you might both find each other attractive (but cant be with each other due to having other relo’s) or at least one of you would find the other attractive. Majority cases involve guys having feelings for the girl (whereas the girl just thinks its friends).

  6. Anastasia says:

    On FOUR seperate occasions in the past year this has proved to be true for me im not sure how much hope i hold out for my remaining male friends. . . . . .

  7. thiloshi says:

    true saying .im really agree with this

  8. thiloshi says:

    boys and girls can be friends but not BEST FIENDS

  9. Tenu says:

    very true girl and boy is not made for best friendship, my own life experience….

  10. You couldn’t be more right.

    Thanks for the Twitter follow

    @tenuouslinks

  11. Tiffany says:

    Hello,
    I’m truly in need of some brutally honest advice right now. My boyfriend and I have been talking for about two years but have only been “official” for about 3 months now. He lives about 45 minutes away from me so the distance is not a big strain on our relationship. I spend every weekend with him and also come and stay at his house during the week. I’ve met his family and they know I am his girlfriend. My family LOVES him and everything is peaches and cream. EXCEPT for one of his really good female friends. She is our age (23) and he “claims” that she is a virgin. They have been hanging out long before him and I even knew eachother. He says that he has never even touched her and is in no way attracted to her. I’ve seen pictures and she coulden’t hold a candle to me, but we all know that looks are not everything. Since him and I have been official he has not been hanging out with her as much as he used to, but its like every time i turn around she is inviting him to a work event or out to kick it with her. He told me that she has spent the night at his apartment of several occasions which literally infuriates me. My mind automatically goes to her waking up in the morning and taking showers at his house. HMMM how does that one work out? So, the friend and I both live in the same city and this dumb@$$ girl was telling one of her friends how shes going on a trip with MY BOYFRIEND to florida in a few months. Well little does she know the friend that she was talking to happens to know me. SO she called my phone and filled me in one this florida trip that i knew nothing about. Now mind you my boyfriend told me a few eeks ago that he was going on a trip with her for his job but it was planned when we were truly on the rocks. I BLEW UP. after seeing my reaction he told me that it was just a joke. Well obviously it was not a joke and he was tying to see how i would act. So last night i confronted him about this trip an he finally told me the truth. He claims that it is too late to change the name on the flight reservations, but i want him to go without her. I am past the point of wanting to go but hell will freeze over before i let him go with her. He is really upset and says that he will have to call his companies corporate office to cancel her reservations….i dont see what the problem is. I told him that if we are going to be together there is NO WAY that he is going to take this trip with her. If i let him go i would look like a fool. Them going to florida and sleeping in the same bed together? NO. He said that he will try to do everything he can to work it out but in the next breath he says that he doesnt want to go alone. Should i walk away from a great boyfriend who i could honestly see becoming my husband someday over a trip? I am supposed to be meeting the friend in two days. Am i overreacting? Same bed? Hotel rooms? Showers in the morning? I am breaking down crying every hour. The thought of my boyfriend being with another girl literally makes me sick to my stomach. I would do anything for this man and would go great lengths to make this relationship work. WHAT SHOULD I DO?

    • Oh Tiffany,

      This looks like a classic case. My advice would be to ditch him now. How would he feel if you were going on a trip with a plutonic male friend and sleeping in the same bed?!

      Show him this article. Show her this article. If he still doesn’t get it and stop seeing this girl then ditch him once and for all and find someone who deserves you!

      Good luck!

      Lucy

    • BOB says:

      TELL HIM HOW U FELL ABOUT HER

    • wilson says:

      The two have been best friends before meeting you they have had a lot of memories and are obviously very close. BUT, who did he choose to get to know to be his future wife aka girlfriend? So dont cause trouble to ruin a friendship to try to fix your not broken relationship

  12. MoviesSeen4U says:

    Hmm…I respect what you are saying in your piece. Although I would have to disagree. I have a best male friend and in no way shape or form are we nothing more. We’ve done literally everything together. We’ve gotten drunk together with friends and alone. He has slept over either on the couch or in my room on the floor. The scenario you just described is something I would do with my male best friend and not think anything of it. Probably because we have done it. We can sit and talk for hours about basically nothing. He’s like a brother to me and vice versa. So far we have been friends for 3 years throughout all this. He’s had girlfriends and I’ve had boyfriends. So the best friend rule between us has proven to be successful. I believe it depends on each individual situation. Maybe it’s because I’m not attracted to him? Who knows. All I know is that he’s the only guy I’ve known that hasn’t tried anything with me. If I would have read this article a few years back I would have agreed because every guy “friend” I had either ended up liking me in the end and wanting something more.

    I do think that it is a very rare case. Most opposite sex best friends have been friends for years so it’s already established. It’s harder to find a male best friend as you get older because there will be underlying tension. One party will want more. But I am very thankful to have someone that hasn’t even once tried something with me or even gave me a hint. He’s a brother like I said and there hasn’t been anything more. I guess you can ask me 5 years from now to see if I still feel the same way. However, It’s proven to be okay for this long. I do not see it being any different.

  13. Tiffany says:

    I definitely see your perspective on the situation. I truly feel that two people of the opposite sex can be friends, but in my situation there have been numerous red flags that raise my suspicions.

    1. This girl will call and text my boyfriend all the time, but at the very moment that he mentions her meeting me she has nothing else to say. If she is truly a friend to him she would respect me as his girlfriend and want to get to know me.
    2. Him and her see each other at least 2 times a month. When i look through my boyfriends phone and she is texting him saying “thats for coming to see me, I missed you sooo much” that leads me to believe that you like him as more than a friend.
    3. You say that in your situation you are not attracted to your “male friend” but she is DEFINITELY attracted to my boyfriend.

    I dont know how you handled your friendship while your male friend was in a relationship, but i would hope that you would not be calling him and asking if you guys could take a trip together knowing that he has a girlfriend. That is out of bounds and off limits. Were you friends with his girlfriends at the time? Do you text your male friend saying that you miss him so much when you have just seen him a week ago? Its about RESPECT, and i feel that she is showing no respect for me.

    • MoviesSeen4U says:

      Whenever my best friend has a girlfriend I respect it. When I see him I don’t text him right after LOL that’s mushy. SOunds like that girl may have a crush IDK. I literally look at him like a brother to me..because that what he’s like. When I’m around him I tease and make fun of him like I do with my own brother. We also argue like siblings. He’s protective of who I date and so am I but I don’t get outwardly crazy or jealous or anything.

      If my best friend called and texted me all the time I would tell him to back the hell off and let me breathe LMAO it is no censorship with us. I am not sure about your situation but it all depends on each individual.

  14. Tiffany says:

    Oh and he has cancelled her plan ticket and we are going on the trip together now!!

  15. Ashii says:

    Well, I would Disagree to the fact that a girl and boy can’t be Best Friends. Lets look at it this way. you have a best friend of he opposite sex. You two have known each other for a couple of years now. Eventually one of you finds a girl/boy whom he/she loves. Now, IF you say you two were best of friends Don’t you think your best friend would understand that fact that you love somebody and therefore would like to spend more time with her/him rather than with you? Also wouldn’t you (for your friends sake) , give it your best, to convince your friends love that you both are just friends and why not make it a group of three where in you all can hang out ocassionally ( not always, Making sure you give the other two some private time ). Well, Now think of this for a moment. If you were to do this would the girl/boy whom your friend loves mind he/she going out with sometimes. Answer would be a NO in my case. I mean if they are truly your best friend and real love then definitely they would understand for sure! If your love cant understand your best friend then do you think he/she seriously likes you ? You really should give it a second thought i guess.

    So now why cant a girl and a boy be best friends then, if this were to happen ?

    • Giovanna says:

      There are many definitions on the terms of being best friends. As long as you dont expect from the opposite sex then ya go be best friends. I mean its understandable feelings toward opposite sex is mutual like a brother, a family. isnt that what being married is like? being a family? If you were raised neighbors together or becomng friends starting at a young age then ya its possible to be best friends. feelings are more plantonic. but as you grow older. you start to develop wants and needs. You will want to find someone who can satisfy that.

  16. Louise says:

    This is a load of crap! I have a guy best friend and we have both decided that we wouldn’t date whether we felt anything more then friendship for each other or not. We get along great but its not chemistry! Hes like a big brother to me. Its very possible to have a guy best friend! Yeah I don’t tell him ALL of my feminine woes but we share a very healthy, Christ-like friendship that is very special to me! While I would never dream of dating him, I cherish our friendship. We share almost everything with each other and we love each other like best friends should! There is NOTHING wrong with being best friends with a guy! Its the healthiest friendship I have! You obviously havent done enough research on this subject.

    • You both decided not to date whether you felt anything more than friendship or not?! How did that conversation even come about? Answer me honestly, if you turned around and said you to him that you’d like to be more than just friends, how would he answer?

      • Louise says:

        there have been rumors going around at our church that he and i are going out. we talked about it and discussed how we really felt. we wanna be just friends. end of story. IF i were to tell him that i want him to be my boyfriend, he would tell me to just wait. we both know we aren’t meant for each other. knowing that helps us understand that if we ever feel anything for each other that its nothing more than infatuation. not love.

      • Giovanna says:

        Louise, “Nothing more then infatuation not love” I think the point is how can the opposite sex being best friends not even feel not one spark or mutual attraction to each other. Obviously, one or the other will at some point have feelings. but I applaud you and your guy friend to overcome awkwardness between each other. Its possible to be best friends but there is always other factors that could break the relationship or wither the status best friends to friends by another person who is jealous of the relationship between both of you. Thus why its hard for guys and girls to maintain the status if being best friends.

  17. picornish says:

    I think the key point here is BEST friend. I have a male best friend and several GOOD friends, who are mixed. My best female friend is my partner Jacs, it’s the way it should be!

  18. Tiffany says:

    To all of you that think men and women can just be “friends” you are not addressing the same issues that I raised. Like Cohen said if either party turned to each other and said that they would like to be more than friends, what happens? I feel without a doubt that when around the opposite sex, its more likely that there will be “romantic undertones”, flirting and physical interaction.
    I would definitely be more open to my boyfriend having female friends if I personally knew them and hung out from time to time. But I’m in a scenario where she really has no interest in meeting me. Its all about her and him. And that leads me to believe that she likes him as more than a friend. How many “friends” have there been that start hooking up?? ALOT. I believe that there are truly men and women that are only friends. But I think it is rare and in the majority of situations, one person has deeper feelings for the other. Also, there always has to be boundaries.

    To all the women out there that have male “friends”, how do you handle the situation when the guy gets a girlfriend? Are you happy for his relationship and do you want to meet her?

  19. Stewart says:

    Whats the difference between two females , two males and a female/ male going home together?
    You get gay relationships too , so maybe two girls and two guys can’t go home and watch films together!
    I think you are stereotyping and can’t see that EVERYONE is different.
    I’ve had a female best friend for 5 years and we can watch films without anything going on.

  20. Dan says:

    My name is Dan, and i was 17-18 at the time this happened. I had a best friend, she was a girl, and i was indeed a guy. When i first met her, i thought she was kind of funny and spiritual, like someone i’ve never met before. At that time, we usually just joked around in school, played cards, went jogging etc (inb4 a teenage who don’t know shit about love and how a real grown up relationship is like.) We were good friends for about 2 months. Then i slightly i started getting feelings for her, then strong feelings. Basically i think it happened because we had so much in common both now and in our past, always laughing together, helping eachother out, talking literally hours a day etc. I could barely sleep, i sometimes went 4 days straight without sleeping because i couldn’t stop thinking about her and i always dreamt about her, yes every single f**cking night for 2 months. Whenever i woke up i instantly thought about her, always going to school early even if i didn’t start untill 3-4 hours later just to say ”hello” to her just before she went into class where i’d later sit under the cafeteria either studying or trying to sleep cause i was tired as hell. I loved her so much all i ever wanted was for her to someday say that she had feelings for me too. But i loved her so increadibly much as a friend i didn’t give a shit, because i just didn’t want to risk our friendship. The problem was, i also had a friend that loved her, and i knew he did. But i still told him, because i thought it was fair that he knew, and i actually kind of wanted to help him, because i thought they might be right for eachother, and i trusted him. Then it started, they were also good friends and she knew he had feelings for her. But he kept kind of pushing her because she wasn’t sure if she liked him back and in the end she told him that it was never going to happen. He became so depressed and angry that the only reason he could see in his head for this happening was that i had told her a lot of shit about him, bad talking him if you will. Even though it was the exact opposite i had been doing. So she knew, she finally knew after about 4 months of knowing her. I told her instantly ” I can forget about my feelings, just completely erase them if you want, i just don’t want to ruin our friendship”. She replied with ”No, i don’t want you to think like that. Because maybe someday, i will have the same feelings for you too”. This is were the point of friends starting to become bestfriends. She knew i liked her, and we still became more and more friends. I never had a problem with her not having the same feelings for me, i just loved being with her and making her smile. Then after 2 months she wanted to kiss me, and i didn’t let her. I wanted her to be completely sure that this was what she wanted, and she said that she was sure, and i trusted her. Eventually we had sex, but here’s the catch. We were still bestfriends (no, not fuck bestfriends..). She had feelings for me, so it was very unique. But somehow she just couldn’t see me in a relationship, it wouldn’t be the same ”friend thing”. I would be fine with that, except it got very confusing in the end. Whenever we were with friends we still acted like we were best friends but no kissing etc. The reason i said confusing is because i didn’t have that much of a problem with that, i liked that we kept ourselves hidden (our friends didn’t know about our relationship). But i started to think: ”Maybe she’d rather want to be with her friends and not think about a relationship, maybe i’ll end up hurting her, have i dissappointed her somehow or am i keeping her down etc. So i eventually said that i wanted to talk with her about us, that i wanted to know what we were doing, if we were just playing around or is it going somewhere? I might’ve asked in the wrong way and seemed too impatient somehow and she started might’ve started to feel insecure about the whole thing. So we decided to take a break and think about it for a while. We still planned on continuing being best friends, but this didn’t go as i had hoped. I noticed she started ignoring me more, being a bit more ”funny rude” (which didn’t really fit us) in public and felt that we were slowly drifting apart as friends. (We took a ”break” right before the summer btw, so we were a lot more out with friends). So i wanted to talk to her about the whole relationship we used to have, to see if something went wrong by me taking up the subject about ”what we were doing”. She said that she agreed with it, and it was just suicide doing what we were doing. This answer shocked me, and i somehow didn’t approve of it becaue it was just a huge turn over in such a slow amount of time. I felt like she thought i was smothering her, when all i wanted was to talk and know if i had let her down in some way. In the near future i kept asking her to talk with me about it and she became more and more angry with me and actually started to DISLIKE me. At this point i was very pissed off at her, i didn’t understand why she was angry with me and why she didn’t want to listen to me and hear me out about everything. Basically, i wasn’t even that irritated that we ended our relationship, rather the way it happened. Because i got the impression that she didn’t care at all about me anymore. We fought a lot, much crying and yelling. We kept drifting further and further apart where i soon came to a point where i actually started to hate her, and still loved her at the same time (both as a friend, and feelings). She started to become depressed because i wouldn’t leave her alone and i kept being more and more angry with her the more i wanted to understand why she felt this way about everything, i literally didn’t understand shit and became more and more confused at the same time i got more and more angry. Eventually our friendship ended. She was angry with me one time and said she didn’t like hanging out with me anymore and i told her ”our friendship is over, you are not the person i remember as a best friend”. It’s been 3 months since this happened. I’ve both cried, not slept and puked from the depressive pain and wanted to kill myself several times. Both because i miss the relationship we had, but even more the relationship we had as best friends BEFORE that. There’s a TON of shit i haven’t mentioned in what i’ve written above, and i know this turned out as a kind of ”lame teenage love/friendship story”. But the point is i know EXACTLY what a heartache is, but i still continue to believe that guys and girls can be best friends. Because to this day, i still don’t know why it ended like this, maybe she felt heartbreaked and lost sight of our friendship, i don’t know. But while i sit here in my apartmant writing this and thinking about her, all that comes to my mind is this: ”i wish my friend had never told her about my feeling for her”. Because my love for her as a bestfriend was so unbearably great that i know i would’ve never told her…

    • Giovanna says:

      Precesly why its hard to maintain being best friends. You cant ignore the feelings you have but then again, it actually happened. You both discontinued being best friends. There are many factors that can break the relationship between two opposite sex who are best friends. Like I mention in early post, ifyou were raised together, feelings are plantonic and mutual. feeling like siblings. but as you grow older you will develop wants and needs. You will want to find someone to satisfy that. thats why it is hard to be best friends. There will always be someone else whowill be jealous of the relationship. That or either one or the other will feel a spark.

  21. chloe says:

    not true
    i totally disagree with this. all of my friends are boys they have been sence the 5th grade, and non of them were ever interested i was a little sister. plus every girl ive ever been friends with have been completly mean back stabers

    • Abby says:

      I definitely agree with Chloe pretty much all my friends are guys cuz all girls I’ve met r a bunch of backstabbing b!tches and my best friend Jose is datin a girl and his friends r my friends also some of his friends are my exes but even though he does find me attractive I wouldn’t date him BC I don’t wanna break him and his girlfriend up then I would just feel horrible and guilty and we’ve even said were like bro and sis so we wouldn’t even if he wuznt dating anyone.

  22. Mezzos says:

    I’ve had a male “best” friend since we were teenagers-20+ years. I’ve gotten along with his girlfriend relationships & I’ve been thru a marriage/divorce. I also have 5 brothers. So, male companionship is not foreign to me. I’ve also had other successful male friendships. However, my theory is this, & I get asked this all the time, a guy can not be friends with a girl but a girl can be friends with a guy. A man will always try his hand but it’s up to the female to draw the line. The power lies with her & I like it that way:) it’s best not ignore this reality, in order to have a true cross gender friendship.

  23. Anika says:

    Well, I happen to have 4 best friends: 3 girls 1 guy. This guy is not gay, nor is he attracted to me in any way. We have been best friends since the 2/3rd grade, and we are still besties. If he/ I get a boyfroend/girlfriend, its not like we.would sacrifice our whole day with our partner to be with our best friend. There has to be a friends day. So, I happen to find that theory, not categorized in my case. Me and him arw best friends and I like someone else anyways…so..? Yeah. Not in my case.

  24. You don't have to know says:

    (I am so sorry for the upcoming grammar/spelling error, bare with me, i’ll try my best).
    I’d like to share my story with you, but first of all, I would like to say that your article is true and I agree with you, but at some point I have to disagree. You’ll understand why by reading my story.
    It all started when I entred highschool, i fell in love and got my heart broken, one of my girl friends kissed the one i loved and so they got toghather. One of my classmates liked/evetually loved more then anything the girl that kissed the boy I loved and so he was heartbroken too.. And that is how we become bestfriends,. No, we didn’t get togather, on the contrary, we tried getting them back, being there for eachother and eventually stopping eachother from doing stupid things like suicide or cutting veins and thing like that. We evetually suceeded in getting her to love him, resulting in a relationship between those tow of 5-6 mounths, give or take, and in all this time, me getting hurt by that boy and my bestfriend who being blinded by love avandoned me. She broke his heart again, and again, and again. I was there for him every time this happend, and he then saw that i really cared for him And took care of him, and so he regretted what he did but still loved her. In the mean time I got a boyfriend(not the one from the 9th grade), who evetually got really really gelouse of my bestfriend, evetually i found out that he cheated on me with my beatfriend’s new crush.. When i found out i wanted to get revenge and so I kissed my bestfriend. And so it all started. After 9 mounths i broke up with my boyfriend becouse he was trating me like no girl should be treated, and evetually got togather with my bestfriend. Why? Becouse I knew him better then he knew himself, and vice-versa, becouse the friendship had basically started off like a normal one. We understand eachother like no one else and the most important is that brcouse we know eachother so well, we also accept and care and really love oneanother. You’re right, there can’t be just friendship between a boy and girl
    Without bouth being gay, but it’s true that a boy and a girl can be bestfreinds, even if they are bf and gf, and in my oppinion, it’s best that way, becouse you can be sure of the feelings, likes, dislikes, and so on.
    I hope you understood what i’v written here, not too mispelled or too mixed up…

  25. john says:

    i cant say this is true as ive been as close of friends as you can be with someone with this girl for almost 6 years now.we have both had girlfriends/boyfriends over that period of time and during those times and after nothing has changed

  26. Thomas Glascov says:

    hey I have a question for you guys. So this girl that lives in my city added me on fb and i thought she was cute and i started trying to talk to her. in the middle of that one of our mutual friend told me that she wasnt cute so i just left it at that. months later, we met at a community event and we started becoming friends. thru time out friendship got stronger. i realized she lived two blocks away from my house so i would always hang out with her. I never really had feelings for her other than that i enjoyed her company. I moved away to newyork for college and she started dating my friend. even if she was dating my friend we would always talk thru video chat all the time. she would call me everyday and at times i couldnt get my work done because i dont want to say bye to her. our friendship got alot stronger and i started to have mini feelings for her. she would complain about her boyfriend to me but i would always tell her hes a good guy and not to end the relationship. she eventually ended the relationship and i got back to my city for the summer. through out the summer we texted every minute and hang out and flirted alot. we even go out to drink sometimes. but i still havent told her my feelings because i keep thinking its a phase and it will go away. when i went back to college we were suppose to hangout one more time but didnt because she didnt want to cry saying goodbye infront of me. well im back in college and we still talk everyday and i tell her of girls that i date here and she tells me about guys that she talks to but everytime she tells me about a guy i would get a little jelous. Its not that i want to be with her, i just hate seeing her with any guy. Should i end this being best freind thing because i feel like im going to end up being hurt at the end

    • It’s quite clear that you’ve got feelings for her and that you want the relationshop to be something more, but does she? The only way to find out is to tell her how you feel and then one of two things will happen; either she’ll reciprocate or she won’t and either way you’ll have crossed the “friend” line and things will never be the same again. The fact you say that you don’t want to see her with anyone else is worrying and if you remain friends then it will just end up causing you hurt. Think carefully about it but in this scenario I say that it’s worth the risk to tell her how you feel, especially because if you don’t she’ll continue to date other people which will make you unhappy.

  27. Wow, for being so blunt, you really don’t know what youre talking about. I happen to be a girl that two boys for best friends. I hang out with them individually and all together. We go see movies, go to lunch, and just generally hang out, and I know several girls that have guy best friends. So next time you post a “law of being human” make sure your “proof” isn’t an out of date tv show.

  28. Tiffany says:

    Okay first of all eyecandy (which i highly doubt you are) Cohen was not saying that the “law of being human” is that boys and girls cant be friends. If you actually read her post she was saying that friends of the opposite sex have an entirely different relationship than friend of the same sex. So you just made yourself look like a complete idiot by even making that comment. Second, you should probably get a boyfriend that will go to the movies, lunch and just in general hang out with you and then you wouldent be so far up your male friends asses. There is nothing wrong with people of the opposite sex beings friends, when it is friendship only. If you can use the half brain that you have please refer to the numerous comments above of males and females expressing how they have had inmate feelings towards their “friends” it happens all the time. Do yourself a favor and go hang out with your two “male best friends” instead of posting on websites and exposing your extreme stupidity. The phrase “Ignorance is Bliss” was truly made for you.

  29. Tiffany says:

    And eyecandy for future reference, make sure your quotes of the other person are accurate before you enter a debate. If you can’t do at least that, than you should strongly consider not responding at all.

  30. Raven says:

    God your an idiot.

  31. Lee Ann says:

    This is all SOOOO True… Yeah, I know it’s late to reply, but anyway. I Have 2 Guy bestfriends and I can honsetly feel something a bit intense than “BestFriend Love”… We’ve been bestfriends for 2 years and yeahh.. I’m falling for them both. I actually have no Girl Bestfriends… The Guys call me their Sister & I call them my brothers. We hang out a lot, even chill at eachother’s houses. none of us say anythinng about liking eachother, but as a female… I just know these things.

  32. Danielle says:

    I have to agree with the original post to an extent, but also disagree as it really depends on the situation, the people involved and the intent. I have a few ‘best’ friends, two of which are guys (in addition to my boyfriend – a classic example of best friends falling for each other). These two guys know me as well as my female best friends do, and vice versa. We’ve known each other for at least 3 years and been close for 90% of that time. The relationship I have with these guys is purely platonic (despite our age – 20s – this is possible, though rare). We can honestly look at each other objectively (i.e. we find each other attractive but are not attracted to each other) and I can say with all surety that neither of them has romantic or sexual feelings for me, nor I for them. Both are currently single but have been in relationships with wonderful girls whose friendship I have hated losing following the respective breakups, and both like other girls currently who I think they will do very well with. So in my opinion, a completely platonic friendship can exist between heterosexual members of the opposite sex, it just depends on what the friendship is based on/means to you. If anyone wants to know how I know they have never been attracted to me, we discussed it not long ago after someone mentioned that we seemed very close and wondered what my boyfriend thought of it (him and I are in a long distance relationship, for the record, he trusts me and knows he has nothing to worry about from these two). The two guys have always either been with someone, or liked someone for the duration of our friendship, and there has been no flirting or anything which may have incited sexual feelings. See the post by Kat Daley for ways in which a hetero male/female close friendship can work http://katdaley.blogspot.co.nz/2010/10/can-straight-guys-be-best-friends-with.html
    I’ve been using these rules and they work for me.
    In agreement with the original post, it is how my partner and I got together, we met many years ago and quickly formed a close friendship. Eventually he told me he liked me and the feeling was mutual but I had just gotten out of a relationship and wasn’t ready for another. He ended up with someone else and our friendship petered out. We rekindled it again 2 years later, when we were both single and we are now engaged after being together for three years. He understands that my friendship with these other guys, though close, is very different from what it was with him. These guys are like brothers to me.

  33. RhiannonMayy says:

    I’m a girl. My best friend is a guy. We’ve been friends for four years and best friends for around two. I share everything with him, and he with me. We could pass exams on each others lives and opinions. I was in a relationship for a year, he was in a relationship for eight months. Our relationships overlapped by about five months, but we were still best friends. Our respective partners had no issues with this as they knew how strong our friendship was. We have fallen out only once when he spread a rumour around our mutual friends which I’m sure you’ll agree has nothing to do with sex. We would never have sex as we just aren’t attracted to each other.
    Still I get that our friendship isn’t that normal, and that it is the exception and not the norm.
    So, I agree that for the most part that males and females can’t be best friends but sometimes, and rarely you can be best friends.
    Sorry for a big paragraph by the way :’)

  34. Mr Darcy says:

    I’m a guy and my best friend is a girl. We watch films on the sofa together all the time. I even chose Bridget Jones Diary over The Godfather! We are open and honest as good friends are and she is important in my life. She is like my little sister and it’s great. The media is full of stereotypical characters and the emphasis is always on romance.

  35. Bolz says:

    Interesting argument and with certain boys in my life in the past I would agree but with others, not so much. I think it depends on the people, age and situation.

    Me – I’m 25, female and recently engaged, with said boy for 5 years.

    Situ 1 – We’ll call him Nick, we sat next to each other in chemistry, we were 17, he was a newbie and made me laugh a lot. We had mutual friends, we swapped numbers, text, hung out at lunch time and it was very platonic for a while. Everyone asked if we were going out and honestly, the answer was no but eventually I realised that actually, a lot of our ‘friendship’ was flirting and actually, there were feelings there. It all kinda spiralled til eventually we kissed etc etc, and actually tried dating for a short while. Then he cheated and I realised it was because he didn’t like me like that but just tried cos of the friendship we had behind it. It was horrible. We broke up, tried to be friends, it all went wrong. And for a long time I missed his companionship, but eventually I got over it – and actually maybe we weren’t as good a friends as I thought, maybe it was just an obsessive attraction I didn’t realise. We don’t speak now, but I hope he’s happy.

    Situ 2 – Newer friend. We’ll call him Dan. I met him at work a couple of years ago. We sat across from each other. The scenario between me and him almost when written seems similar to that of Nick. He made me laugh, we swapped numbers, we text, we hung out at lunch. Except, the situation is completely different. We were and are both in long term, very happy relationships. We actually live in the same building, met each others other halves and now often hang out as a 4 in the evenings. I live away from my home town and have had to make new friends where I now live. I would easily call Dan my best friend in this new town. He is like looking in a mirror. We have scarily identical likes, dislikes and favourite things. Its funny. We laugh, joke, hang out doing a variety of activities, I’ve cried into his shoulder, I’ve always got his back with idiots at work and I’ll happily tell him if I like his t-shirt or I think his hair looks nice and vice versa. I love him, but how I love a family member. And before you ask, yes, someone at work once asked us if we were together, to which led to a very funny conversation on the way home of us both admitting we adore each other but absolutely not in that way – we love our respective partners more than anything in the world, its never even been a consideration for either of us! And yes, we’ve both had that chat with our other halves as well. We are all mutually happy with how our friendships work.

    And Situ 3 – My group of boy mates I’ve know since I was 15, some of the best friends in the whole world. We hang out as a group, or individually, we’ve been on group holidays for 2 weeks at a time etc, but not very often now cos they live back home. We talk on the phone or Facebook. I love them. But they really are my big brothers. They like to wind me up no end and tease me. I find none of them attractive in anyway shape or form. and visa verse (I’m def nothing like any of their girlfriends so I believe them!), probably cos we grew up together and have seen each other at our worst lol, spotty, hungover, sick! Its just easy friendship :) No worries.

    So yes, in my experience, boys and girls can be best friends. But perhaps its easier the more adult you become and as you settle down. When I was 16,17,18 – I was in and out of relationships, hormonal and yes, boy/girl one on one friendship didn’t work. But now I’m much older, it just makes sense if I happen to meet people or a person who could be a best friend. Gender is irrelevant. But of course if it seemed like the boy wanted more, I would step away as it wouldn’t be appropriate given my relationship.

  36. glittergirl says:

    A guy definitely can’t be friends with a girl he has feelings for. Once he gets into the ‘having feelings’ for you then you’ve had it. Because they wont be able to function in the friends zone anymore they’ve gone beyond that point so it would be hard for them. Especially when they feel an emotional, physical and sexual attraction towards you. I currently know this guy friend who wont converse with me anymore because he has feelings for me. I miss talking to him as a friend but he just can’t get over how he feels about me. I do feel the attraction towards him aswell but i can control it where as he has closed off from me. Thats the way he deals with it. I really do miss that friendship connection we had at the beginning :(

  37. mr_pragmatic says:

    I NEED ADVICE!!!
    hi. I’m a guy and i guess i could say my female friend is my best friend. i have a lot of friends both of the same and opposite sex, and i can say a few of them are what i could consider as best friends. but honestly, i think i’m attracted to my girl best friend. we have been best friends for almost 5/6 years now and we have done a lot of things together which can be considered “dates.” my family knows here and really really adores her. my parents has an inkling that i like her and my father did said he wants her to be her daughter in law. now, i find it flattering for her part, and even though we know most things about each other and confided alot with each other, i still haven’t said to her what my dad said. the first year we became best friends, we had a fall out and almost ruined the friendship we have. we resolved it and then she said she to me that she knows i like her. when i asked her what her reaction would be if i courted her, she said she wouldn’t know.. and we left it as it is.. our circle of friends thinks we’re good together but it’s their opinion. i know what i feel for her, i just dont want her to say the same thing to me just cuz our friends tell us so.. until now, 4 years later, i haven’t asked her the question again. i still believe i like her cuz everytime i would think of my future, i’d always think that she’s be in it. she’s always the one constant thing in my life and i don;t want it to be ruined. every now and then i’d ask her out to be keep me company, just the two of us, just stroll around, watch a movie, dine, attend photography contests from time to time, and sometimes she’s the one asking for my company. i don’t know if she really likes me in the way that i like her, or just a platonic friendship kind of deal towards me. i can say we love spending time with each other, tease one another, and just be with each other. but i dont know… i’m afraid to confront her with her and my feeling cuz i think it could put a strain with the friendship we have and i dont want that. i love spending time with her and i don;t want that to ever change just because she doesn’t love me back. i know it’s cliche but this kind of dilemma really does happen you know. what do you think should i do?

    • Jondalar says:

      You have to tell her dude. If you don’t, you’re taking away from yourself. No matter what though you will never get over it completely if it goes badly. But if you two are as close as you say, then she should try and work it out with you in someway where your friendship isn’t ruined. I’m good at reading body language and subliminal reading of ones true thoughts by there choice of words. If you want to email back and forth I’d love to try and help bud. hjondalar@gmail.com

      • Mr_Pragmatic says:

        Hi.. I sent a message to your email add a few weeks ago. I still haven’t received a reply. anyway, I’m waiting for your response. thanks.

    • Jondalar says:

      I wish she was mine

      10th Grade As I sat there in English class, I stared at the girl next to me. She was my so-called “best friend”. I stared at her long, silky hair. I wished she were mine, but she didn’t notice me like that. And I knew it. After class she walked up to me and asked me for the notes she had missed the day before, and I handed them to her. She said “thanks” and gave me a kiss on the cheek. I wanted to tell her. I wanted her to know that I don’t want to be just friends. I love her, but I’m just too shy. And I don’t know why.

      11th Grade The phone rang. It was her on the other end. She was in tears, mumbling on and on about how her love had broke her heart. She asked me to come over because she didn’t want to be alone, so I did. As I sat next to her on the sofa, I stared at her soft eyes, wishing she was mine. After 2 hours, a Drew Barrymore movie, and three bags of chips, she decided to go to sleep. She looked at me, said “thanks,” and gave me a kiss on the cheek. I want to tell her. I want her to know that I don’t want to be just friends. I love her, but I’m just too shy. And I don’t know why.

      12th Grade The day before prom she walked to my locker. “My date is sick,” she said. He’s not going to go. Well, I didn’t have a date and in 7th grade we made a promise that if neither of us had dates we would go together just as “best friends,” so we did. Prom night after everything was over I was standing at her front door step. I stared at her. She smiled at me and stared at me with her crystal eyes. I want her to be mine, but she doesn’t think of me like that, and I know it. Then she said, “I had the best time, thanks!” and gave me a kiss on the cheek. I want to tell her. I want her to know that I don’t want to be just friends. I love her, but I’m just too shy. And I don’t know why…

      Graduation Day A day passed. A week passed. A month passed. Before I could blink, it was graduation day. I watched as her perfect body floated like an angel up on stage to get her diploma. I wanted her to be mine, but she didn’t notice me like that, and I knew it. Before everyone went home, she came to me in her smock and hat, and she cried as I hugged her. Then, she lifted her head from my shoulder and said, “You’re my best friend, thanks!” and gave me a kiss on the cheek. I want to tell her. I want her to know that I don’t want to be just friends. I love her, but I’m just too shy. And I don’t know why…

      A Few Years Later Now, I sit in the pews of the church. She is getting married, now. I watched her say, “I do” and drive off to her new life, married to another man. I wanted her to be mine but she didn’t see me like that, and I knew it. But before she drove away, she came to me and said, “You came!” She said, “thanks!” and kissed me on the cheek. I want to tell her. I want her to know that I don’t want to be just friends. I love her, but I’m just too shy. And I don’t know why…

      Funeral years passed, and I looked down at the coffin of the girl who used to be my best friend.” At the service they read a diary entry she had wrote in her high school years. This is what it read: “I stare at him wishing he were mine. But he doesn’t notice me like that, and I know it. I want to tell him. I want him to know that I don’t want to be just friends. I love him, but I’m just too shy, and I don’t know why. I wish he would tell me he loved me… “

      • Mysterious Figure says:

        Wow.. this is truly a sad and touching story…. How are you coping now that she’s gone?

      • Mr_Pragmatic says:

        @Mysterious Figure, I think he just put this up as an example to my dilemma as of late. anyway, the story is just sad, I know. It sucks really.

  38. anon says:

    Why does every one say this? I am a heterosexual guy and my best friend is a girl. Hell I just stayed the night at her house after her being at my house for the entire day playing xbox and watching random shit on youtube. This kind of talk really rustles me saying guys and girls cannot be best friends.

    • tiffany says:

      We are not saying that it is impossible for people of the opposite sex to be best friends. I, along with many others, feel that more likely than not one of the parties has deeper feelings than friendship. And this has been proven many times!

  39. Jondalar says:

    I agree and disagree. I’ve been best friends with a girl for 6 years now. Both of us are straight, and we’ve never had sex. Sure, I have feelings for her. And she atheist used to for me. But we both know what is important to us. And that’s being there for another more then a partner ever could be. I love this girl with such an in dying love that its impossible to explain. It’s not like the love I’ve felt for lovers or girlfriends I’ve had in the past but what I know is that she’s my life partner. Like god put us on the planet to be in eachothers life. Sure, things have got awkward, relationships on both sides have been ruined because of our friendship and we’ve even tried going our desperate ways. For 2 years we didn’t talk. But one day we started talking again and its like we never stopped. We’re best friends, always meant to be. You can control all of this if you just know what is most important. Trying a relationship, or having someone there always. And we both have spoken about this multiple times. Because like I had said. I do have “feelings” for this girl. Always have. But I know what is important to me. And she’s delt with the same.

  40. Emma says:

    I could use some advice too.
    I am a straight female, in love with my male best friend. I didn’t realize how I felt about him until recently- and now I don’t know what to do. We’ve only been close for about a year now, but I have honestly never met two friends who are closer than the two of us are. He lives next door to me and we practically live at eachother’s houses. Whenever the two of us are home at the same time during the week, he comes over and we lay on my bed and watch Netflix or just talk.
    The problem is my best female friend. He and she used to be best friends, long before I entered the picture. And much like me, he was in love with her. He eventually told her his feelings, and she absolutely cut him out of her life. They didn’t talk for a long time, until she and I started hanging out at my house. Eventually the three of us would occasionally go to a movie or just walk around the neighborhood. And he still isn’t over her. But she has her own drama issues with another guy that she has liked for at least two years and isn’t interested at all. He talks about how much he loves her constantly- and it’s incredibly painful to me.
    I guess my question is- what should I do about it? Should I tell him? Or just stick to being friends? I’ve never had a friend as good as him before, and it terrifies me to think that I could lose him.
    I know he doesn’t think of me like that- he constantly talks about how I’m the only girl he could ever be friends with, because he knows that we would never develop feelings for eachother.
    Thanks in advance!

  41. Thomas says:

    I beg to differ on this. I’ve been best friends with a girl for over a year and a half now. We are both heterosexual and both find the other attractive. Haven’t dated may in later future but it has been amazing. We can share anything with each other because neither judges the other but supports and cares. So to say that a girl and guy can’t be bestfriends unless one or both are gay is not true what so ever.

    • If you find her attractive and would potentially date her then you can’t possibly be best friends. The dynamic is different! How would you feel if she started dating another guy? Jealous?

  42. Jules says:

    I’m a girl and one of my best male friends is actually a guy that was going to be my boyfriend first. Maybe we work backwards but by the time we decided that a relationship wouldn’t be the best thing for us (we probably wouldn’t last long), we had already spent so much time, energy, and emotional investment in the other that we had already become close. And YES, there definitely is sexual tension, especially because we already had an emotional connection but now we’re at the point where we value each other too much as friends to lose that. Still, I feel that if our parameters weren’t safeguarded as they are, it wouldn’t take a lot for our friendship to get to the next level. Are we kidding ourselves? Yeah, probably. And maybe it’s for the worst because there definitely is jealousy when a third party enters the picture. But how can you keep away from someone you enjoy spending time with and you feel so close to?

  43. madigan says:

    This is a very false conclusion. I am a girl… Im 13. Every best friend i have had that was the same sex (girl) ended up back-stabbing my or something. I have had boyfriends and bestfriends. All my ex boyfriends were different than me and my current best friend. My best friend now is a guy, his name is parker we’ve been best friends for like five or six years… I have never had feelings for him. Even when he had a girlfriend she didnt mind at all. But my boyfriend broke up with me cuz i spent more time with parkminder than him. Is that bad… I didnt even cry, i did swear at him though. Do ya’ll think my best-friend-ship with parker will end badly or do you think it’ll be all good. I love his company and all but not him as like a partner boyfriend thingy if ya’ll know what i mean…. He’s just my best friend, my best bud. xD -madigan

    • madigan says:

      Oops… My cell is soo screwy that part where it says “parkminder” is actually supposed to say “parker” buh bye xD -madigan

  44. randomer says:

    I partially agree with your point. But consider. What if you grew up having mostly freinds of the opposite gender? I mean me myself am straight but i have mainly girls as freinds and dont even consider them as a potential partner ever. What if you know that person in a way that feels more like “family”? I understand your point and i see what you mean. But i feel if the circumstances are different in certain ways it is perfectly acceptable.

  45. unknown says:

    I completely agree! My bf of 2 1/2 yrs has a female friend and although I may be friends with her also, I disagree with how close they are. We go out on double dates and the way they interact with eachother is like ‘harmless’ flirting. I know for a fact they share very personal information with eachother about eachothers intimate lives. Behind my back she always takes his side of an arguement him and I have and never stands up for our relationship. She’s admitted to me that she has had feelings for him and from one female to another, I know feelings like that never truely go away. No matter the circumstance!

  46. Becca says:

    Mmmm, noo, I have plenty of best friends that are men and none of them have feelings for me like that. One of them, who I met two years ago, of course had to become my best friend before becoming my boyfriend, and he now he’s both. It’s not weird unless you make it weird. Not every experience that someone else has is just like yours, and not all people are the same, obviously.

  47. ashik says:

    I DISAGREE this

    i have 2 best friends 1 is boy and other is girl and both of them have true lovers and i have no lover

    i have no attraction to her
    and we dont like drinks like alcohol

    we talk all things include secrets
    our friendship has 2 year age our somany girlfriends and a teacher was get doubt about our relation but i know her and she knows me
    & her lover have no problem or doubt through me
    he also know me &his lover and our friendship deeply
    she is the first girl(except my sisters& cousins) which i talk friendly she decrease my stress and strain through her beautiful smile and talk

  48. Pingback: Friendship | musinglifejournal

  49. Greetings, I’m Martha and I’ve recently started to get into
    what you’re speaking about. I don’t know where you’re getting your info,
    but solid job anyway. I really need to commit some time learning and understanding much more.
    Thanks for this: this is just what I was looking for for my goal.

  50. Nopey doodle says:

    This is so fucking wrong, I’m a straight male and I’ve been best friends with a girl for 12 years

  51. steph campbell says:

    I don’t think this is true. I’ve been best friends with a guy since we were little, and we’re both 15 now. I’m a tomboy, so I kind of like gaming and action films associated with a stereotypical teenage boy, but I’m straight. I find girls drama and bitchiness at this age so irritating; I consider him to be one of my best friends and someone who I can be myself with. We’ll hang around in his room on his computer, or at mine watching a movie. I find it so akward when people say we should go out to both of us, our frienship is kind of like siblings. He asks me relationship advice etc, and when he split up with his girlfriend I took the piss out of her and we had a good laugh about it. I don’t see at all why guys and girls can’t be good friends at all.

  52. madhu says:

    WELL FOR ME ! I do have a Best fwen who is a boy…He is 1 year younger than me..I cannot accept that we cannot be best fwens! But my mom and his mum dont like us being close.Close means not like we got no lmits.. We got our limits but it is not wrong if I put my arm on him,hold his arm and pull him away and share all my gossip and my personal life secrets..What should I DO NOW!!!!?????

  53. lee says:

    You could not be more wrong. As a girl, having a guy for a best friend is fantastic. I’ll be 100% honest: I did have feelings for him at one point however I got over it without ever having to tell him and my friendship with him has lasted longer and is more fun than any that I have had with girls. People are people, it shouldn’t make a difference if you’re male or female, gay or straight, black or white, rich or poor. I go to the cinema with him, sometimes we go bowling or sometimes just for coffee. Sometimes yes we call them dates but I also say this about my female friends and so it is in a sarcastic /joke way. Grow up and realise that friendships aren’t restricted by gender :)

  54. shahir says:

    this is bull my best freinds a girl and we meet up all the time and nothing has happened i think this article is just based on your own experience

  55. Lindsay says:

    I have a best friends which are boys and I never get jealous when they’re with other girls or with their friends. I just broke up with someone a few weeks but I’m still friends w/ him because he’s a good person I still trust. I mean everyone is different no one is a like so you can’t base your research like that because u can’t always be the same. Yes there will be times when you get the same result. So I don’t believe what the scientists say because it just can’t be that way. But let the people decide on this. U also can’t put if my bf and I different then think long and hard on that. Because there is different people!!:):D

  56. Emma says:

    I’m a girl (obviously) but I prefer hanging out with boys. I’d be closer to them than I am with girls and I’ve never imagined having them as anything else than best friends! They’ve had girlfriends and they think it’s good having a girl best friend because I can give them advice and vice versa. With boys there’s no bitchiness or backstabbing like with girls so honestly i think it’s better having guy best friends.

  57. Justine says:

    100% spot on because I’ve been there. Sooner or later, one of you will develop feelings. One will suffer if it is unrequited love which will always lead to a bitter ending.

  58. Abby says:

    No, just no. My best friend (let’s call him S) and I ( let’s call me A) have known eachother for 5 years I know that most ppl think that girls and guys can’t be friends but why??? S and I are as close as two bffs can get and he is a guy. this suprises most people. But the point of this is that girls anboys can he friends even best friends

  59. Girl Best Friend says:

    I disagree with this. Boys and girls can be just friends. Having to relate everything back to sex is what’s wrong with this all, not everyone, when making friends with the opposite sex, necessarily wants anything more than being just friends. I understand your point about the emotions developing but at the end of the day that’s not why you wanted to be friends with
    them and if you want to do anything about it then I’m all for being up front about it. However this is not a case of every boy&girl friendship, I have a boy bestfriend and I cannot in a million years see us being anything more, yes many people have speculated but that doesn’t change facts. You are friends with those you have things in common with, you make eachother laugh, and you just get on yes? This doesn’t change if you’re friends with one of the opposite sex! Some, like me are best friends with a boy because that’s what I want! Overall people need to overcome this theory that boy and girl best friends can’t end being best friends; “one or both will fall for the other” because the sooner we do, the sooner people can stop being suspicious, untrustworthy people when it comes a partner let’s say having a best friend of the opposite sex. And my last point; I speak from experience while you are just merely stating a theory, with only fictional characters as your evidence.

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s